Ginger the fair fish

On Friday I visited the North Carolina State Fair. Fairs are fascinating places. They're temporary pop-up theme parks with farm animals, giant vegetables, lots of deep fried food and meat, and dangerous — sometimes even deadly — rides. So why are fairs so popular?

I  have no idea. They are extremely expensive, crowded, and dangerous. And my visit to the fair unexpectedly sent me through an emotional journey I was not prepared for. 

After eating $12 worth of beef ribs, (the beef ribs were so enormous I ate only about an eighth of it before waving my white flag) I decided to play a fair game. Near the beef ribs stand was a game — $5 for a bucket of ping pong balls, the sign said. If you threw a ping pong ball into one of the fish bowls, then you won a fish. With a bucket of about 25 balls, theoretically you could win 25 fish. Could you imagine taking home 25 fish!

The concept of the game is crazy. They impulse people into becoming pet owners. Then, these people are expected to keep their fish alive as they wander about in the hot sun and getting  on all sorts of violent rides. 

I'm going to pause this blog post to give a brief moment of silence for fair fish, whose lives ended      tragically, whether suffocating in a trash can, being slung around recklessly on a ride, or dropped on the pavement. 

Rest in peace fair fish. 

Anyways, my second to last ping pong ball, I ended up winning a goldfish, which curiously wasn't gold but brown. The inflated plastic baggie came with the exciting mix of emotions parents must feel when they realize their responsibility for another living creature. 

I brought Ginger home, and tried to make her comfortable while I prepared a more permanent living arrangement. I went to Walmart and purchased a vase and flakes. I was excited to spend the next few months blissfully watching her thrashing and swimming atop the end table. 

In the meanwhile I researched taking care of goldfish. I learned some interesting facts. First off, goldfish in captivity have a lifespan of more than 35 years, but most live very sad and stressful lives in a fishbowl, which shortens their life to a matter of months. While goldfish are pretty, they are not particularly well suited for fishbowls. 

This made me feel terrible because I couldn't afford the 150 gallon, water circulating aquarium FishfaceMark12 suggested on the fish forum. 

By this time, I was exhausted from the fair and from assuming responsibility for Ginger's care that I decided to take a nap. 45 minutes later, I awoke to find Ginger lifeless in her bowl. 

She was a beautiful brown goldfish. I was an unfit parent. And in her memory, never again shall I play a game where the prize is a goldfish.