Sitting in a boring meeting thinking about mayonnaise
Right now, I'm sitting in a boring meeting — the leader is using fancy words like "streamline" and "mitigate," clicking through a power point, and pointing at lengthy lists of bulleted information. Fortunately, I live in the 21st century, which means I can use the internet as a source of entertainment by reading articles and blogging.
I often go through phases of interests. Last week I was interested in articles about watches and clocks, and watching videos about technological marvels, like this one, that both tell the time and keep track of the night's visible constellations. Most recently, I've been interested in mayonnaise. I've been fascinated with mayonnaise since I was a child, but only recently have I developed a taste for the fair condiment.
Apparently mayonnaise is strongly divisive. In the South, most people prefer Dukes. Elsewhere it's Hellmans, but, this definitive source said the best tasting mayonnaise is the relatively mundane Kraft.
The worst mayonnaise from this source was curiously from Whole Foods. The review describes this mayonnaise as having "an overtly fishy aroma ... and a complete lack of balance between sweetness and tanginess (not sweet enough, too tangy)."
While I've recently been enjoying the pleasure of mayonnaise, I still have reservations about its consumption. The mayonnaise jar with its yellow-tinted contents still gives me some anxiety. Yes, it's irrational, but I can't seem to shake the fear. I prefer not to actually spread the mayonnaise, but let someone else — like the sandwich artist at Jimmy Johns — to actually perform the act. This means, when I make a sandwich, it still lacks any type of moisturizer.
I often go through phases of interests. Last week I was interested in articles about watches and clocks, and watching videos about technological marvels, like this one, that both tell the time and keep track of the night's visible constellations. Most recently, I've been interested in mayonnaise. I've been fascinated with mayonnaise since I was a child, but only recently have I developed a taste for the fair condiment.
Apparently mayonnaise is strongly divisive. In the South, most people prefer Dukes. Elsewhere it's Hellmans, but, this definitive source said the best tasting mayonnaise is the relatively mundane Kraft.
The worst mayonnaise from this source was curiously from Whole Foods. The review describes this mayonnaise as having "an overtly fishy aroma ... and a complete lack of balance between sweetness and tanginess (not sweet enough, too tangy)."
While I've recently been enjoying the pleasure of mayonnaise, I still have reservations about its consumption. The mayonnaise jar with its yellow-tinted contents still gives me some anxiety. Yes, it's irrational, but I can't seem to shake the fear. I prefer not to actually spread the mayonnaise, but let someone else — like the sandwich artist at Jimmy Johns — to actually perform the act. This means, when I make a sandwich, it still lacks any type of moisturizer.
Anyways, here is a bulleted list of my preferences to wrap up my thoughts on mayonnaise:
- I prefer a mayonnaise that is more white than yellow.
- The only acceptable form of "salad" is chicken salad. Potato, tuna, and egg salads should be avoided at all costs.
- Less mayonnaise is more when it comes to chicken salad. Chicken should not be floating in a pool of mayo.
- Mayonnaise should always be spread.
-Because of this, mayo must be avoided at Subway. Their method of squirting ensures gloppy mouthfuls of just mayonnaise.
- Most people use too much mayonnaise, and therefore, often end up eating mayonnaise sandwiches with sides of ham or turkey. Again, like chicken salad, less is more.
-Something freaks me out about putting a knife in the mayonnaise jar. This just seems so unsanitary. To avoid this anxiety, squeeze bottles are preferred, but as noted early, the mayonnaise must then be evenly distributed with a knife.
- Homemade garlic aioli is the superior cousin to jarred mayo.
- Homemade garlic aioli is the superior cousin to jarred mayo.
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