Five un-scientific but quite veritable psychological studies
I have a few completely unofficial psychological findings from my careful and repeated observations of human habits and interactions. This is the first time they've ever been published.
1. Michael's (the craft store) is an interesting place to study traditional gender differences. It is a magical, fairy-tail dreamland for women but often a nightmarish hellhole for men, where even the smell is intolerable. If you survey the parking lot, half of the cars are occupied by husbands waiting on their wives.
2. There is a strange theory I have about names and relationships. For some reason, it seems that a relationship is more likely to be successful if one person has a 2-syllable name and the other a 1-syllable name. Two people are least likely to be compatible if both their names are 1 syllable.
3. For what it's worth, straight men almost never enjoy wearing lotion, and in fact are generally repelled by its being offered.
4. Names carry a lot of information. You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can tell a lot by someone's name. (I won't give specific examples, as not to offend anyone. But let's just say, I've never met a Sarah I didn't like.)
5. Lastly, you can also judge people by their towels. A hand-selected towel often reveals a lot about someone's personality. For example, mine is white and bleached and not folded. (So I'm really clean but not very neat) If you're trying to get to know someone–maybe a potential significant other– investigate what kind of towels they have. Ask yourself: What color is it? How plush is it? Is it solid or patterned? Is it monogrammed? Is it clean? What kind of smell does it have? Stalking someone's towel may be more useful than stalking their Facebook.
1. Michael's (the craft store) is an interesting place to study traditional gender differences. It is a magical, fairy-tail dreamland for women but often a nightmarish hellhole for men, where even the smell is intolerable. If you survey the parking lot, half of the cars are occupied by husbands waiting on their wives.
2. There is a strange theory I have about names and relationships. For some reason, it seems that a relationship is more likely to be successful if one person has a 2-syllable name and the other a 1-syllable name. Two people are least likely to be compatible if both their names are 1 syllable.
3. For what it's worth, straight men almost never enjoy wearing lotion, and in fact are generally repelled by its being offered.
4. Names carry a lot of information. You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can tell a lot by someone's name. (I won't give specific examples, as not to offend anyone. But let's just say, I've never met a Sarah I didn't like.)
5. Lastly, you can also judge people by their towels. A hand-selected towel often reveals a lot about someone's personality. For example, mine is white and bleached and not folded. (So I'm really clean but not very neat) If you're trying to get to know someone–maybe a potential significant other– investigate what kind of towels they have. Ask yourself: What color is it? How plush is it? Is it solid or patterned? Is it monogrammed? Is it clean? What kind of smell does it have? Stalking someone's towel may be more useful than stalking their Facebook.
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